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info@kristyhoadley.com | 631.353.1076 | LEHIGH VALLEY, PA
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"Love; it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free." ~ Mumford & Sons

    SONDER SESSION: TRASH (BURN) THE DRESS

    Today's session is a "trash the dress because the groom turned out to be a narcissistic jerk" session. YIKES! Right?? Chelsea, the gorgeous former bride who's photographed below burning her wedding gown, and her ex were only married for 6 months, and now she finds herself rediscovering herself. So, instead of wallowing in her sorrow, she decided to turn her hurt and anger into something SO much better. I cannot even begin to understand how liberating this must have felt for Chelsea, she now has the closure she so longed for!


    Without sharing the details, I can only imagine the depth of what went wrong between Chelsea and her ex. But, I doubt that Chelsea looks back on her wedding and the wedding planning six months later and wishes she had different flowers or décor. If I had to guess, I bet she wishes she had a crystal fucking ball instead. Moral of the story? Spend more time focusing on your relationship, and less time focusing on the wedding! 


    UPDATE: Chelsea allowed me to share her story. She wants all women who are in her situation to be able to gather strength from her to move forward. Here is Chelsea's story, in her words...


    "As I am emotionally putting my story out here please understand that this post isn't meant for attention but for the sole purpose to help my healing process and share for the women that are currently dealing with what I experienced. I hope that my story can possibly help someone else.


    On July 7th 2016 I met the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We quickly became inseparable and I fell in love with him completely. We were together for two years and things went wrong. I made mistakes he made mistakes and we decided to go our separate ways. We didn't speak for six months when one day his name came across my phone. Instantly my heart was his all over again. We talked things out and decided to push our differences aside and be together because that's what we both wanted. We decided that we wanted to get married and the wedding planning started.


    The date was set for June 16th 2020 in Las Vegas. I called booked and paid for the venue. My sisters and friends went with me and I said yes to the dress. Which was PERFECT for a Vegas wedding. I was so excited.


    July 4th we took a family day trip to Seaside Heights where our story basically started. He got down on one knee and promised me that he wanted me to be by his side. He promised that if it was what I wanted it's what he wanted too. That he would continue to make me happy.


    In August we decided to break my lease and I was moving back in. The last day of me moving we were having a conversation about us living together unmarried again. Sitting at the bar over our beers and inferno wings we called my mother in law and told her that we were going to go to the courthouse and get married that week, and that we wanted them and my kids there to witness it. For the rest of our friends and family he wanted to keep it a secret until the Vegas wedding.


    August 13th 2019 I said I do to him. I BECAME Mrs. Chelsea Lynn Mosley.


    Then things changed. He made me feel alone and unwanted. He made me feel crazy and insecure. My depression and anxiety came back full swing and I broke down and tried to explain what I was dealing with and what I needed from him to help me through this. As any narcissist would do he told me to get over it and to stop making everything about me. That was HARD.


    It hurt to know that I should not be feeling this way or being treated the way I was. I was embarrassed for myself. I knew I deserved better than this, but I continued to try and fix us because I made a vow that I cherished. I soon realized that no matter what I did it wasn't enough. Now, I know that I was enough, but, he instilled it in my head that I wasn't, because of who he was and what he wanted. I remember asking him what more I could do to make him happy and his response was to be all about him and only him. He wanted to isolate me and control my every action. I wasn't even allowed to vent or talk to my sisters... MY SUPPORT SYSTEM. That isn't a marriage. In a marriage or not I should still be allowed to have friends and to be my own person. I tried to understand who he was and why he was the way he was. I loved him no matter what and I bent my standards to please him and what he wanted. When nothing was done in return to try to make us one person. To make our marriage work. He instead told me that he didn't like the person I was. My response was "Why did you marry me then? I have not changed since the day you met me, so how could you fall in love with someone you didn't like?" That was a moment I decided I deserved better.


    My marriage was kept a secret from EVERYONE. Including my support system. I couldn't share my happiness because he controlled ME. I was in an abusive relationship. I wanted to leave but I felt stuck because I loved him more than I loved myself at that time.


    So, I took a weekend away to clear my head and enjoy a weekend with my sisters. I was in the car with my daughter at some point. The conversation that I had with her changed my entire perspective. She is 7 years old and during this conversation she had expressed how my husband was treating me. What she said next not only broke my heart but woke myself up to my own reality. Here I thought I was able to bury the abuse. When in reality even behind closed doors it was noticed. I lied to myself and to those around me. Allowing my daughter to see this and learn to think that that was a happy and healthy marriage/relationship was not the mother that I wanted to be. While I loved my husband more than I loved myself, I love my kids above everyone else. I will always put them first. They deserve to be in a happy home and to learn and experience what a healthy marriage is through myself. I wasn't giving them that. That changes from this point on!


    I want to thank the people I have in my corner, my support system. I want to thank my kids for helping me realize that getting out was the best decision, to allow myself, and them, to be in a happy and healthy environment. Through my struggles in my marriage I had, these people constantly reiterated my worth and what I deserved. With their help, and support I left. So thank you for loving me and continuing to help me with support through this hard transition.


    To the women who are currently in a situation where they feel worthless, unloved and afraid, you are not ALONE. If you're waiting for a sign or something to help you leave, this is your sign. There are multiple forms of abuse; physical, mental, emotional and verbal abuse. None of those forms are deserved or should be tolerated.


    To my soon to be ex-husband. I want to thank you for bringing me to my lowest point because that gave me the opportunity to rise again. I am a better woman for myself and for my kids because of this experience. For that I am truly grateful for. I forgive you and I wish you the best in your life without me.


    So, enjoy this photoshoot because I had a ton of fun with it! Despite freezing my ass off in the cold and windy weather. Also thank you to my amazing photographer for capturing these amazing images. They truly capture the emotion and spiritual experience that I was feeling." ~ Chelsea


    Enjoy this powerful and playful trash the dress session! I 100% did!!







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